Considering the countless films that portray college years as times of drinking, fun, and sexual promiscuity, its no wonder that many students act as if "what happens in college stays in college".
Even if some students do not partake in some of the scandalous fun that wild college parties offer, most are still aware of what is going on around them.
People around the world have vastly different views on this sort of activity.
Some people believe that underage drinking and sexual promiscuity are wrong, while other people consider these behaviors to be lifestyle choices.
Personally, I feel that people should do whatever they like as long as it doesn't bring harm to anyone else, and I have no problem with sexual promiscuity in either women or men.
Recently, a new issue has emerged that will undoubtedly affect college life for many students. The availability of Co-Ed dorm rooms in universities across the United States has infuriated many people, but has also introduced the idea that gender/sex doesn't really matter when it comes to choosing the right person to live with.
http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2008/04/02/just_roommates/
Co-ed dorming is not a new issue.
Many dorms contain both men and women, and many have even allowed men and women to share bathrooms and suites.
Co-ed rooming, on the other hand, is a new concept that many parents are having trouble coming to terms with. Many people feel that it will lead to sexual promiscuity, or that it will make the youth insensitive to concept of sexual privacy that many of today's adults consider the norm.
Many still feel that a girl's modesty is at stake when she moves in with a male that she is not explicitly in a relationship with.
I feel that this is a gender issue because it seems to me that the parents of male students would be quicker to allow their sons to live with a girl he is not dating than to allow their daughters to live with a male friend.
While I have no statistics to back up this notion, I know at least that this would definitely be true of my parents, who would consider it shameful for me to live with a male friend, but who would not mind if my brother lived with a female.
My parents are not extremely traditional by any means, but to them it just seems like a crazy thing for any 'good' girl to do.
As I mentioned earlier,
the concept of co-ed rooming on college campuses introduces the idea that someone may simply be more a more compatible roommate with someone of the opposite sex, even if there is no sexual tension there.
I think that while there is a likelihood that there will end up being sexual tension if both or one party is heterosexual, it is in fact possible to live with someone of the opposite sex without mutual sexual attraction.
Personally, I think this is a great idea for some people. It really shows how much society has moved towards gender equality.
I think the idea that it is becoming more mainstream in society for a man and woman to live together shows that people are truly beginning to believe in gender equality and to live by it.
Of course,
people who are not comfortable with the notion of co-ed rooming should not be forced into it, but I think its great that this option exists for some people who truly believe that men and women should be treated exactly as equals.
5 comments:
Dorit,
This is a very interesting topic and I agree that its up to the individual family/student to decide if this coed rooming arrangement is appropriate. Personally I think its an option that should be explored if not offered. It may be good for young people to learn how to co-exist with a different gender student. I feel that after a while they will learn tolerance and respect towards one another. Of course it also depends on the maturity level of the students. I think men and women should be able to share lifestyles, their habits, cultures, interest etc. with genders other than their own. I believe it would give the students a broader and more rounded education on life and growing up and sharing. Granted this may not be for everyone and is a subject for schools, parents and students to discuss and take seriously. I have been at schools in the past where coed dorm rooms and bathrooms were considered normal and it was actually fun. Life without stereotypical living arrangements can be a positive experience.
Dorit,
I agree with you when you say that this is a gender issue because some people will think it might be good to explore this idea while others will probably find it innapropriate to suggest co ed roomates. I definitely agree with your statement about how although we dont have proven research i am more than sure that most male's parents would not have a problem with their son living with a female roomate, however a female's parents will probably feel that this would somehow lead to a violation of their girl's privcy and even somewhat of a loss of morals and values because many associate co ed with sexual promiscuity when that is not the case. In my opinion you are either promiscuous or you're not...what gender your roomate is, is not really going to change this either way. If you want to engage in sexual activity than you will go out and find someone if they are not right in front of you, and if you are not the type to be sexually promiscuous than just because there is a male in your room does not mean your automatically predetermined to have sex with him. I think many parents jump to conclusions when they need to just trust that their child is capable of making their own decisions. Same gendered roomates or co ed gendered roomates, it is not really likely going to change how someone acts. In many cases girls get along better with a good male friend because there is not competition in the same aspects as there can be with girls Girls can be petty and competitive with their girlfriends at times,and it often makes it hard for them to get along. I also feel that maybe having co ed roomates would give both sexes a chance to become more understanding and tolerant of one another, because once you are actually inside the situation instead of on the outskirts of it, it makes it easier to understand and relate to what is going on with people. I think this would give those that are mature enough to handle it a good life lesson for the real world. In the real world you do not have control over every single thing. You need to be able to compromise and get along and work well with others in order to be successful and this could really help some people. As long as everyone involved is comfortable and willing to try it out than I personally feel that there is nothing wrong with it, and it may even prove to be beneficial to our future society.
Dorit,
I think coed rooming is an option that should be offered. As you said, you certainly would not be forced to do it however I think it offers both genders the opportunity to know more about one another and most certainly it does not have to be a sexual relationship.
I am the mother of a boy and a girl. I have to say I can understand why parents would be open to the boy rooming with a girl rather than a boy. I would hope if the day comes when my daughter came to me wanting to room with a male at school that I would have trust in her to be doing it for very good reasons. I believe it would actually be a very good experience allowing for a broader education to include understanding gender differences. My husband on the other hand would not be so open minded.
College dorms have certainly come a long way. But as a parent, I don't think that I would want my kids (boys) to have such access to girls in college. don't get me wrong, as someone who has lived my first time around in college I do not doubt what goes on whether staying a co-ed dorm or not, but I think that dorm is the haven one goes back to to be able to re-focus on work. My preference is not gender based as you said it would be for your parents (and certainly with mine) becuase like I said I have boys and whether they were a boy or girl I would not want them to share such close quarters with the opposite sex. Yes, some people still have different rules for men and women, especially in what is acceptable for men to do and women to do. The media has certainly demonstrated that. From spring break and other college events emerge shows like "Girls gone wild" showing how girls today are getting just as wild as guys have been. Yet there haven't been any shows that I have seen or is so widely adverstised, about male college students gone wild. I think that is because gender wise it is acceptable behavior for men to go wild than women and it is another way for the media to exploit women.
Is it really about equality if they co-exist in a dorm room? Wouldn't equality be that they both have opportunity to it? I still the maturity level of women and men in college along with the biology differences might make for some problems. And, reading so many of your posts, I am seeing women still do the bulk of cleaning, cooking, caring for the kids...maybe, it wouldn't be such a bad idea..we could teach these guys in college that housekeeping is a two way street!
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